AND SO IT BEGAN

On February 8, 2005 I took the life of a 50 year old man from Troy, MI. While it wasn't intentional, that doesn't change the basic facts. I was driving from 94 West to 23 N interchange near Ann Arbor, Michigan. As I approached the merge, I noticed that the Econo van I had judged way behind me was actually going to hit the merge area at the same time. Panicking I adjusted and tried to readjust back on to the road. I lost control and went head first into the concrete embankment. The hood crumpled on my Sable and my head was rocketed back from the force of my driver's side airbag deploying. The car spun in in a 90 degree angle and came to rest facing on coming traffic in this busy area. Dazed I was at least pleased with myself for avoiding the rocketing van. Even if my license was suspended, at least I would only spend a night in jail.

A male in a bomber jacket helped me out as I limped away from the leaking wreck. Was it going to blow up? I couldn't focus as a pleasant hint of unreality blanketed me until I heard from behind me, "He's choking. He's dying." WHO? I had missed the van didn't I? Didn't I?

At the hospital, after requesting and being denied an alcohol test, after being questioned for several hours groggy and strangely amped at the same time, after lying about my name, after providing my account the officers informed me that the other driver was indeed dead and looked to have been dead directly after impact. Oh what have I done. WHAT HAVE I DONE? I have done my best not to harm animal or insect in accordance with my Buddhist beliefs - except for the girls I fought with in high school. And now here I am a murder of someone's father, brother, son, grandfather....